2014 In Full Swing

Happy New Year Dear Friends!

This time of the year today is always my favorite. So much time is spent with family, friends, loved ones and even strangers. New Years comes and people make goals, people dream, and talk about the upcoming year.

I have to confess that my year of 2013 was quite busy and quite selfish. I’ve gotten myself in this mentality of constantly going, constantly achieving, and if something isn’t up to my standard and expectation of productivity – then it’s categorized as unimportant and a waste of my time. If it’s outside of my planned day and my planned goals, it is an inconvenience, a burden, and my mood quickly shifts negatively.

Dear friends, I do not want 2014 to look like this. I want each day to be a joyful praise for the kingdom of God. I pray to let go of this standard that I have put on myself and my family and just enjoy time together, work hard, and be content with not finishing that project or not taking that extra meeting, or not saying yes to everything.

That being said – I knew that some “parameters” had to be set to hold myself accountable. Let’s be honest – we all start with these lofty ideas and somewhere along the way we get lost, bored, or just plain forget.

Here are the 2014 goals of the Honea Household

2014 Honea Family Goals

1.    Our Walk With God

a.     Pray weekly with each other

b.    Share scripture with each other

c.     Commit to our church and our neighborhood

2.    Our Marriage

a.     Fight less and listen more

b.    Commit to once a month date nights (preplanned)

3.    Our Children

a.     Read the bible every night to Theodore

b.    Pray over Theodore weekly

4.    Slow Down

a.     Ask for each commitment to glorify God

b.    Rest more often – take breaks – be still and quiet and listen

5.    Run/Walk a 5k together

Here are my goals:

2014 Deidre Goals

1.    Memorize Scripture

a.     Memorize one Psalm a month and 4 scripture references

2.    Support Zachary with Come and Tape It

a.     Help as needed and pray over this company

3.    Have more ME time

a.     Schedule one a week, minimum of 2 hours, alone time.

4.    Do 10 pull ups

5.    Begin training to become a DOULA

6.    Read 10 books

a.     Marriage, kids, leisure, prayer

7.    Learn basic sewing

Here are Zach’s goals:

2014 Zachary Goals

1.    Start serving the community in ministry

2.    Finish mini documentary about Tracy the Outlaw

3.    Memorize a gospel

We share these goals with you in hopes that you will pray for us throughout 2014 and to check in on us in keeping our priorities focused on our heavenly creator and not on everyday daily tasks that quickly consume and become never ending.

Happy New Year!

Continued Answered Prayers

Dear friends,

I must share with you the joy and immense blessing that Zachary and I have received over the past couple of weeks.

#1: Daycare - We went to tour another daycare a couple of weeks ago and left feeling, unsettled. I told Zach, no matter what daycare I visit, I'm still going to be antsy and uneasy, so we might as well just pick one and run with it. Well, later that day, I was speaking with a very sweet lady from our church who wished to watch Theodore, however we needed. Needless to say, this mamma was in tears. But she said something that I'll always remember: "God opened the door for you to take Theodore to work because he knew that you weren't ready. Now, God opened this door as the next transition for you for you to see to continually trust in Him to provide for you." I can't tell you guys how much a blessing this family is to ours. We would not have met them had we not visited this small little church on a whim and had not these ladies shown a deep love for me when things got really rough on my maternity leave. Blessed.

#2: Theodore - I put a shout out on Facebook about Theodore needing winter clothes. We were not exaggerating that he needed clothes stat and it just simply wasn't in our budget. Yes of course, we would've gone and gotten him clothes, but we were waiting for a period of extra cash. A few days later there were texts, pictures and packages on our doorstep of winter clothes for our son. Blessed.

#3: Cash Flow - As we all know, cash flow is tight right now. Zach and I are continually having to put our faith in Jesus for our foundation in our current situation. We were looking at situations in order to help make ends meet and then out of the blue, we received a couple of checks from friends who wrote and said that we were on their hearts and they had some extra cash to pass along. Blessed.

#4: Being a working mom - This is something that I am going to continue to struggle with as I find my role as a mother and as a working mom. I enjoy my job, I enjoy my son, one isn't greater than the other, they both bring their own joy. I was feeling a great deal of pressure and a dear friend called and let me cry on her shoulders for a bit about the whole situation. She said that God has a plan in place for our lives and right now this is what it looks like, and tomorrow, it could be different. I needed to hear that I wasn't a bad mom for not being able to watch him. I needed to hear that other moms struggle with this same situation. God knew that I needed this relationship and I'm blessed to have her in my life.

Now this is not to say that we aren't faced with struggles each day. There are many things in which I am trying to see why they are happening and how to glorify God in the process. But, what Zachary and I have learned thus far is to keep putting our faith where it belongs, God does provide, and He will continue to provide -- whatever that may look like.

"When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Thy consolations delight my soul' - Psalm 94:19

Mom Lesson #1

For the past 4 and 1/2 months, I have been extremely blessed to take my son with me to work everyday. He is loved on, passed around, played with. He attends my meetings, donor visits and makes the three hour round trip commute everyday. I cannot begin to express the thankfulness and gratitude to my boss and co-workers for allowing this opportunity. However, about a week or so ago I noticed that Theodore is starting to get bored at work. I'm unable to play with him on the level that he needs. I am unable to give him the extra attention and stimulation that he deserves. And I noticed about a week or so ago that my time bringing him to work with me is quickly coming to an end.

This put mamma into frantic mode. How can we cut expenses, how can I stay at home, How can we make extra money. Okay! I'll work evenings and weekends and we will cut everything (from our already cut budget) and make this work! Mine you readers, we don't have extras - no cable, work covers phone bill - we do have netflix (whoop!). Outside of that, we eat out ONCE a week and carpool to save on gas. We all know that child care is ridiculously expensive, but we are blessed in the fact that we have just BARELY enough (I'm talking maybe 10 extra a paycheck) for the cost of daycare.

This mamma still wasn't happy. He won't get the attention he deserves, he won't eat, he'll be left alone, he won't be loved on. Negative Negative Negative. Me - pushing all these assumptions on innocent individuals - judging them and the daycare setting before even giving it a chance. But no, I was determined to make this work, to keep him from this awful, awful thought of daycare. I mistakenly polled the facebook audience about my thoughts and was bombarded by mothers who had the option to stay at home, to spend time with their children. I was met with hostility towards the thought of leaving my son during the day to help provide for our family. In the midst of my tears a dear friend called and said that everything was going to be just fine - we are in similar situations and we are doing what we need to do in this moment in time. She said the Lord knows the plans for you and your son....

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matt 6:25-27

Then and there the Lord spoke to my stubborn and unyielding heart. I felt him asking me - Why do you doubt his safety? Why do you doubt the plan that I have for you in your current situation? Why do you not think that I will continue to take care of you and your family? Let me work in your life - your son will be fine, as he has always been.

I became very silent and began to feel His peace surrounding me. I began to realize that I was putting my priorities, my desire, my wants in front of letting God work in my current situation. I began to worship this other life I desired instead of being content and thankful for where I currently am. How we are foolish and broken people.

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the LORD is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him. Psalm 34:4-7

We are currently seeking daycare options. There are a few on the table and I ask that you pray for the best situation for our family. I am hoping to write more around this - to show how God is shining and working in our lives and current situation in hopes to remind other working moms and dads of the bigger picture. I pray that through this process other working moms and dads who have to leave their children during the day to provide for their family find peace with me in this journey. I am praying for you. I pray that those who are fortunate enough to stay at home would encourage and support those who are not able.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had,  so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Romans 15:5-6

Not too sure where to pick this up from - we all know the story of Theodore and how he arrived.

I'm here to write an honest conversation, in an effort to help my thoughts come together and to potentially encourage and inspire other mom's out there.

My life has been completely flipped sideways-turned around and has landed lopsided - in a completely and different place than I originally planned. I find myself completely exhausted from commuting on average 3 hours a day, working a full time job, tending to my almost 4 month old, being a wife, a mother, housekeeper and socialite.

This is coming from the long nights of being awake to feed, to provide comfort and to handle the screams of teething. This is coming from having 3 hours of sleep and having to put in a full days work the next day with a smiling face. This is coming from a mom who cooks every meal due to dietary restrictions and extreme budget limitations that are out of her control. This is coming from a family who can't simply cut "extravagant expenses" to consider living on one income, when we don't have anything extra to cut (okay, we have netflix...whoop!). This is coming from a husband who works tirelessly at two jobs to help keep the family afloat. This is coming from a mom who is saddened by the fact of putting her son in daycare and wishes to stay at home.

It's from meeting mothers at fairs who are completely exhausted and seek community, comfort, and a few words of encouragement to continue on this journey of parenthood. It's to building relationships with new moms with an unbelieveable amount of advice given at all hours of the day and night. It's through the unknown of what a few week old baby really needs when the baby itself is unsure of what is happening.

We are all tired. 

I pray for you, your family, your little one. I pray for rest, for patience, mercy and for friends and family to love and cling to you for you to not feel alone. I wish nothing more than to walk with you side by side in this wonderful journey full of extreme joys and extremely challenging moments.

Through all of this happening the past three months, my husband and I realized how much glory we must give to God and how little our lives reflected His work and His passions for us. We thought we were walking quite comfortably in our faith but have been awakened that we are broken and selfish individuals who need the grace, love, and mercy of our God and Savior. Why weren't we sharing the joy of life given to us with others - so that others might be encouraged by our walk?

We realized things need to change, and we invite each of you to pray for our family as we look at what the future holds for us. The lives we had been living, while was pleasing to God, isn't enough. He is moving in our lives, and we seek to listen to Him. He has been waiting and we have been avoiding.

Here's to a life full of joy and rest in Jesus. What a glorious day. 

"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other." -- Matthew 6:24

Nearing 41 weeks!

To answer everyone at the same time: No, Baby Honea is not here yet and everything is just fine. We aren't going to apologize for not responding to every text message, email, comment, phone call, etc., because in all honesty, its exhausting. We thank you for your kindness and your thoughtfulness as we near the end of the pregnancy - but you will know when you need to know, until then, keep praying for us and we will be in communication with you. Stop stressing out the mamma-to-be :).

I've been home from work going on my third week and it has had it's ups and downs. It is incredibly challenging to go from working full-time and a full-time grad student to absolutely nothing and just waiting for your little one to arrive. I haven't done something like this in many, many years and it's been challenging but rewarding. The greatest thing I can say from this experience thus far has been how we are used to timelines and deadlines that we set for ourselves and have become used to this norm. We instantly get anything that we want/crave/need, set dates on everything and can pretty much predict our day to day routine. In pregnancy, the only thing that you know is that you're growing a baby - there are no definite answers and solutions. It's been an incredible faith defining experience and has shed light to the fact that I tend to trust myself to get through situations and not my Creator. I thank God for this moment and continue to struggle with this daily.

Tomorrow we go back to the birthing center for a stress-test on baby just to check in to make sure placenta, baby, etc. is still doing good along with some more additional natural labor induction techniques. OH - did acupuncture yesterday and it was...different? I'm not against the experience, just not something that I normally seek, etc. It didn't bring on too many contractions, but it did help calm my nerves a bit.

In the mean time, here are some pictures and notes about the nursery (on a budget):
1. Crib sheet/skirt made my Susan Honea (mother-in-law)
2. Curtains made by Juliet Wright (my mom :), not pictured)
3. White dresser used to be Zach's when he was a baby
4. Mobile and owl artwork made by me
5. Rocking chair bought for next to nothing
6. Bookshelf was left by previous owners - why not use it? Books include gifts from zach's childhood and my childhood.
7. Stuffed animals from my childhood

Theres a couple other things I'd like to do - but would rather wait and see if its a boy or girl!

May 29th: Due Date!

Dear Baby Honea,

Well, here we are - 40 weeks complete with potentially two more weeks to go before you arrive in our arms. I didn't expect you to arrive today, but it would have been a nice surprise!

Today at the midwife appointment membranes were swept in order to help labor potentially begin. Both of the midwives are excited to see you and me return before my appointment next week to give birth to you! Let's not disappoint them.

Zachary and I are going into "hibernation" mode over the next two weeks in order to focus on you coming and preparing our hearts for you. We are making an effort to un-plug for a while, so readers, if we fail to respond to your text, call you back, or even email, you'll understand and hear from us again soon.

Here's to the final stretch Baby Honea. Let's do this!

-Mom and Dad

38 weeks man!

Obviously, I'm not the best blogger but here's a recap of the past few weeks:

1. Finished up all centering classes/breast feeding classes/books.
2. Baby Honea will be here in the next four weeks - HOLY MOLY!
3. Nursery is almost complete - just finishing up hanging a few hand made items
4. Last day of work is Friday.

Symptoms:
-Exhaustion - mainly from not being able to move my torso anymore!
-Swelling - still in the left ankle - some minor in hands
-Daily Braxton Hicks
-Total weight gain: 27 pounds - BAM!

Feelings:
-Nervous about being a mother - Dear Lord prepare my heart
-Excited about birth/labor
-Anxious about people being at the house while trying to adjust to a newborn

Baby Names:
Girl: Adelaide Lucille Honea
Boy: Theodore Michael Honea or Nehmiah Michael Honea

After this whole process - I am looking into training to become a post-postpartum doula/lactation consultant. My life has been incredibly changed and moved by this beautiful time of pregnancy and I can't imagine the process any differently. 

Baby is head down and ready for take off - let's get this show on the road little youngin!